A classic game that should never have been played.

How the AFL promotes misogyny

One thing that makes me proud to live in Australia is Australian Football. I refuse to call it “AFL” as required by our corporate overlords, because its actual name is “Australian Rules” which, when I represented my country in Italy in 1994¹, I translated as “Football Australiano.” But I digress. I love the game and I hate the AFL.

The men’s season always starts too early. March is a beautiful month in Melbourne. The weather is lovely, the air seems clear and everyone’s football team is on level pegging. At least, that’s how it used to be. Then two things happened. Firstly, in 2017, the AFL Women’s competition was launched. It was wildly successful and for the next several years, late summer and March was the time of the shortened Women’s competition. It was too short, but the women had their own time and did not need to compete with the men’s competition which had not started yet.

Then things changed. Probably because the women were going too well. In 2024 the men’s season started earlier than usual. This year it began in the first week of March. The first week! This was at least three weeks earlier than it used to start. The women’s season will start in August and they will play their Grand Final deep in the cricket season at the end of November. Last year the women’s season began just as the mens’ finals were beginning. In other words, when interest in the men’s comp was at its peak, that’s when the women were allowed to start playing and competing for air time.

Does this look like respect to you?

So, that’s why I was not ready for footy last Thursday. That’s why I missed the deadline to join the work tipping competition. And that’s why I missed the game for the ages. In a nutshell, the Tigers, with 20 primary-school-aged players in their team, outplayed the highly-fancied Carlton, gave them a 41 point lead in the second quarter and then mowed them down in the second half. Richmond got 17 points clear before Carlton pulled one back with plenty of time left on the clock. With about a minute left, Jack Ross for Richmond booted it long and high into the forward line. Young Tiger Seth Campbell sprinted past his opponent and got his boot to the ball to seal the game. Then he gave the Carlton supporters a long hard look before doing a handstand and a backflip.

This is how you ice the cake.

So, great things can happen even if they shouldn’t. And it doesn’t change the fact that the AFL is a misogynist oligarchy of self-serving, self-appointed, privileged, overpaid bludgers who, when we have a truly democratic society, will have to get jobs cleaning toilets.

If they’re lucky.

1. By “represented” I mean, I was in Italy, studying Italian, and felt like I was representing my country. Which, in a way, I was.